I knew what I wanted, needed and desired

Learning about myself throughout the years and learning what I desired, needed and wanted has helped me to be who I am today. I have always known that a DD lifestyle is what I wanted, needed and desired and I knew that was something that would never change. At the age of 16 years I knew that a vanilla relationship was not for me and although I was young I just knew what I wanted to be truly happy. I only had one vanilla relationship in high school but some would say that I was to young to know what I truly wanted but growing up in a DD home is what set me apart from the normal 16 year old back then.

You see I grew up seeing my dad lead and my mom obeying, I grew up hearing and seeing my mom spanked for her misdeeds, I grew up in a home that was dysfunctional (what family isn't a little on the dysfunctional side) but we all loved and respected each other and I truly believe that seeing my parents get along and hardly fighting set a very good example for me as a child. I remember thinking to myself as a pre-teen "Chelle this is what you want and need"! So at the young age of 16 years after a "vanilla" relationship I decided that a relationship with DD is what I wanted. I was always fascinated with spanking and I even had some D/s tendencies and that is where I started to explore at a very young age. Fast forward a couple of years and I met my first husband who introduced the DD and D/s world to me and boy was I in for a surprise!

Comments

Not feeling it!

Lately there has been something missing from TX and I DD relationship and because I have a very hard time telling him anything when it comes to DD (yes even after 12 years) I really haven't said much to him except through my daily journal writings to him. I have been having a really hard time pinning down the exact right words to say until today that is! For the most part TX is very consistent with me when it comes to disciplining me when I break one of the various rules we have set in place and for the most part everything during the spanking session is right on target as far as lecture, punishment , CT etc.....but for me there is still something missing. Last night is a prime example of what is truly missing from our DD relationship and from his point of view I am sure he thinks everything is fine and dandy but from my point of view it is not. Yesterday I forgot to write my journal writing to him (rule broken) and then I didn't complete my food journal (another rule broken)...

Can someone who LOVES spanking actually be punished with spanking?

Do I liked to get spanked? Yes, but is it possible for someone who enjoys spanking actually be punished with spanking? In my case the answer is yes! I have been asked this question many times in the D/s and DD world and some get it and some don't get it. For me feeling punished isn't just through spanking alone as there are many other factors. When I have broken a rule and disappointed TX that alone is sometimes punishment enough for me although he would disagree I am sure ;) Throughout the years I have built up a high pain tolerance and it is what it is and it won't change therefore we have to figure out ways where spanking will work for me in order to change behaviors. TX and I have been together long enough to where he has figured me out and figured out ways to punish me where it will effect me and I am very thankful to have an HOH who can do that for me. Sometimes he can have me in tears even before a spanking will start because I feel so bad for disappointing him an...

DD in my past to DD presently!

Life is good now with DD but with my ex-husband it was far from good! I was 17 years old when I met him and he was 29 years old (need I say more but I was a rebellious teen who thought her parents were just mean). After a year of my parents and I struggling with the ups and downs with this relationship they finally realized I was not going to stop seeing him so when I turned 18 years old they finally gave me their blessing to date him (without me sneaking around to see him that is). I dated him through college but ended up quitting college to marry him at 20 years old and thinking that life would be good with him from that day forward! He was a natural dominant which attracted me to him in the first place and he could walk in a room and everyone would notice him and there was something about him that just commanded respect. From the start of dating him he told me that domestic discipline is something that he would not live without so if I didn't want that then we would have to pa...

Her Desire, His Rules

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