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I knew what I wanted, needed and desired

Learning about myself throughout the years and learning what I desired, needed and wanted has helped me to be who I am today. I have always known that a DD lifestyle is what I wanted, needed and desired and I knew that was something that would never change. At the age of 16 years I knew that a vanilla relationship was not for me and although I was young I just knew what I wanted to be truly happy. I only had one vanilla relationship in high school but some would say that I was to young to know what I truly wanted but growing up in a DD home is what set me apart from the normal 16 year old back then. 

You see I grew up seeing my dad lead and my mom obeying, I grew up hearing and seeing my mom spanked for her misdeeds, I grew up in a home that was dysfunctional (what family isn't a little on the dysfunctional side) but we all loved and respected each other and I truly believe that seeing my parents get along and hardly fighting set a very good example for me as a child. I remember thinking to myself as a pre-teen "Chelle this is what you want and need"! So at the young age of 16 years after a "vanilla" relationship I decided that a relationship with DD is what I wanted. I was always fascinated with spanking and I even had some D/s tendencies and that is where I started to explore at a very young age. Fast forward a couple of years and I met my first husband who introduced the DD and D/s world to me and boy was I in for a surprise! 


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Spanking After a Hot Shower = Not Good!

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The Strap And Paddle , Oh My!!!

Yesterday was a pretty good day but I woke up in a rotten mood and I could not for the life of me figure out why? I knew I had to get through the day but I knew how hard it was going to be to do that especially when I see TX all day since we both work from home. So I try to shrug off my bad mood and get ready for work and go downstairs and TX greets me with his smiley self and hands me my coffee and I think to myself "Michelle you are so lucky to have him". He asks me how I am feeling and I respond " I am fine". Now usually I talk his ear off while we are drinking our coffee together but I was quiet and he knew something was wrong!

We got through the day but I was still in a rotten mood at the end of the day and at dinner he started to question me again and I snapped and said ....."What in the hell do you expect from me?". Before I even realized what I had said he told me to go to the corner. And I replied "Are you kidding me?" Now when I am ups…

Not feeling it!

Lately there has been something missing from TX and I DD relationship and because I have a very hard time telling him anything when it comes to DD (yes even after 12 years) I really haven't said much to him except through my daily journal writings to him. I have been having a really hard time pinning down the exact right words to say until today that is! For the most part TX is very consistent with me when it comes to disciplining me when I break one of the various rules we have set in place and for the most part everything during the spanking session is right on target as far as lecture, punishment , CT etc.....but for me there is still something missing.

Last night is a prime example of what is truly missing from our DD relationship and from his point of view I am sure he thinks everything is fine and dandy but from my point of view it is not. Yesterday I forgot to write my journal writing to him (rule broken) and then I didn't complete my food journal (another rule broken) …