Life is good now with DD but with my ex-husband it was far from good! I was 17 years old when I met him and he was 29 years old (need I say more but I was a rebellious teen who thought her parents were just mean). After a year of my parents and I struggling with the ups and downs with this relationship they finally realized I was not going to stop seeing him so when I turned 18 years old they finally gave me their blessing to date him (without me sneaking around to see him that is). I dated him through college but ended up quitting college to marry him at 20 years old and thinking that life would be good with him from that day forward!
He was a natural dominant which attracted me to him in the first place and he could walk in a room and everyone would notice him and there was something about him that just commanded respect. From the start of dating him he told me that domestic discipline is something that he would not live without so if I didn't want that then we would have to part ways. I couldn't believe that he even knew the word "domestic discipline" because here I thought I would have to introduce it to him eventually because I also knew in my mind that I could not and would not live without it. For me this was a sign that we were meant to be (because who really finds what they really want in a relationship that easily?).
First year of our marriage was great and the DD was going well too. He set rules, I followed and if I disobeyed then there would be a consequence. It was a lot like the traditional 50's type DD and I was fine with that. But then the honeymoon period came to an end and things changed drastically with him which confused me. He introduced me to D/s which I was very reluctant but he just wanted to add this to our relationship and not take anything away from it according to him. Soon the relationship became abusive where he would force me into things I didn't want to do and of course I really had nowhere and no one to turn to so I dealt with it throughout the marriage. I thought of going back to my parents but of course I didn't want to hear "We told you so" therefore I was stuck.
The DD got rough with him and he would take out his anger on me during punishment spankings to where I was not able to sit for weeks and walking was hard. The punishments got harsher and harsher so I tried to just listen to the rules to stay out of trouble but when I accomplished that he then took it a step further and punished me anyways and in his sick mind he thought he had every right over me and my body because we were married. There was no such thing as consensual DD or consensual sex as far as he was concerned and I allowed it to happen :( For the life of me I could not figure out what happened to us, our marriage and most of all what happened to him?!?! To this day I still look back and wonder what did I do wrong to create this?!?! Was I the reason he turned to this dark side of DD and D/s?!?!
Fast forward to my relationship now with TX and of course it's the total opposite of my first marriage because after getting out of that marriage (that TX helped me get out of) I told myself that I would NEVER allow another man to abuse me in that manner whether I ever did DD again or not. TX loves me for me and not because of how I look or act but because he loves the true me. He has shown me what love really is and how a loving DD relationship is supposed to be. TX and I meant online while I was still married to my first husband and at first I was just looking for someone to talk too because I felt so isolated with what was going on in my first marriage.
From the start of chatting online with TX I could tell that he was a great guy and not only because we had the same interests (such as DD) but because he actually TALKED to me on a daily basis about everything under the sun and he was very genuine and really wanted to get to know me (that's what first attracted me to him). We met through an online AOL Chat room for people who were interested in DD and/or D/s and he was not actually in the room but I was looking through profiles and found his to be very interesting so I emailed him to introduce myself and three days later he emailed back and that's how our relationship started. I was very leery to start any type of DD relationship with anyone ever again because of what happened to me in my first marriage but I want to also say that I didn't allow that to stop me from pursuing what I knew I needed and wanted but I was a lot more careful the second time around than I was the first time around.
After over a year of talking to TX through only online chats and emails I finally confided in him about what was really going on with me. I told him from the very start that I was married so I was looking for nothing except to talk and he was fine with that because we had a connection with each other that we both felt so I guess we didn't feel like we were wasting any time. But what I didn't tell him was that I was in a abusive DD relationship so I felt after a year it was time to tell him what was really going on with me. I told him and at first he was angry that I didn't tell him a lot sooner but he did understand why I didn't. We had at that point both fallen in love with each other over the net but neither one of us had admitted it to each other. From that moment on let's just say that TX was my prince who saved me from the wicked soon to be ex-husband.
*To be continued...................
He was a natural dominant which attracted me to him in the first place and he could walk in a room and everyone would notice him and there was something about him that just commanded respect. From the start of dating him he told me that domestic discipline is something that he would not live without so if I didn't want that then we would have to part ways. I couldn't believe that he even knew the word "domestic discipline" because here I thought I would have to introduce it to him eventually because I also knew in my mind that I could not and would not live without it. For me this was a sign that we were meant to be (because who really finds what they really want in a relationship that easily?).
First year of our marriage was great and the DD was going well too. He set rules, I followed and if I disobeyed then there would be a consequence. It was a lot like the traditional 50's type DD and I was fine with that. But then the honeymoon period came to an end and things changed drastically with him which confused me. He introduced me to D/s which I was very reluctant but he just wanted to add this to our relationship and not take anything away from it according to him. Soon the relationship became abusive where he would force me into things I didn't want to do and of course I really had nowhere and no one to turn to so I dealt with it throughout the marriage. I thought of going back to my parents but of course I didn't want to hear "We told you so" therefore I was stuck.
The DD got rough with him and he would take out his anger on me during punishment spankings to where I was not able to sit for weeks and walking was hard. The punishments got harsher and harsher so I tried to just listen to the rules to stay out of trouble but when I accomplished that he then took it a step further and punished me anyways and in his sick mind he thought he had every right over me and my body because we were married. There was no such thing as consensual DD or consensual sex as far as he was concerned and I allowed it to happen :( For the life of me I could not figure out what happened to us, our marriage and most of all what happened to him?!?! To this day I still look back and wonder what did I do wrong to create this?!?! Was I the reason he turned to this dark side of DD and D/s?!?!
Fast forward to my relationship now with TX and of course it's the total opposite of my first marriage because after getting out of that marriage (that TX helped me get out of) I told myself that I would NEVER allow another man to abuse me in that manner whether I ever did DD again or not. TX loves me for me and not because of how I look or act but because he loves the true me. He has shown me what love really is and how a loving DD relationship is supposed to be. TX and I meant online while I was still married to my first husband and at first I was just looking for someone to talk too because I felt so isolated with what was going on in my first marriage.
From the start of chatting online with TX I could tell that he was a great guy and not only because we had the same interests (such as DD) but because he actually TALKED to me on a daily basis about everything under the sun and he was very genuine and really wanted to get to know me (that's what first attracted me to him). We met through an online AOL Chat room for people who were interested in DD and/or D/s and he was not actually in the room but I was looking through profiles and found his to be very interesting so I emailed him to introduce myself and three days later he emailed back and that's how our relationship started. I was very leery to start any type of DD relationship with anyone ever again because of what happened to me in my first marriage but I want to also say that I didn't allow that to stop me from pursuing what I knew I needed and wanted but I was a lot more careful the second time around than I was the first time around.
After over a year of talking to TX through only online chats and emails I finally confided in him about what was really going on with me. I told him from the very start that I was married so I was looking for nothing except to talk and he was fine with that because we had a connection with each other that we both felt so I guess we didn't feel like we were wasting any time. But what I didn't tell him was that I was in a abusive DD relationship so I felt after a year it was time to tell him what was really going on with me. I told him and at first he was angry that I didn't tell him a lot sooner but he did understand why I didn't. We had at that point both fallen in love with each other over the net but neither one of us had admitted it to each other. From that moment on let's just say that TX was my prince who saved me from the wicked soon to be ex-husband.
*To be continued...................
I just found this! SO happy I have.
ReplyDeletehoney
Awww, so I'm just kind of reading blogs since no one's in the chat room. This was lovely. I had no idea. I love a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteMama J