Her Desire, His Rules

Lately there has been something missing from TX and I DD relationship and because I have a very hard time telling him anything when it comes to DD (yes even after 12 years) I really haven't said much to him except through my daily journal writings to him. I have been having a really hard time pinning down the exact right words to say until today that is! For the most part TX is very consistent with me when it comes to disciplining me when I break one of the various rules we have set in place and for the most part everything during the spanking session is right on target as far as lecture, punishment , CT etc.....but for me there is still something missing. Last night is a prime example of what is truly missing from our DD relationship and from his point of view I am sure he thinks everything is fine and dandy but from my point of view it is not. Yesterday I forgot to write my journal writing to him (rule broken) and then I didn't complete my food journal (another rule broken)

For the first time in our entire relationship I experienced a spanking after a hot shower and boy oh boy I didn't like it one bit! Now I have a very high pain tolerance so of course I didn't think nothing of it and thought to myself " I can take this and no biggie" , again I was VERY WRONG!!! TX hardly ever catches me off guard but he did yesterday. We had a really good morning together and ate breakfast, talked etc. TX asked me to get ready because we were needing to leave soon to get our errands done because we were pressed for time due to the fact that we were going to be meeting our DD friends from the ADDS Chat room for dinner. So the obedient "Angel" that I am went to take a shower and get ready :) I come out of the shower into our bedroom and TX was there waiting for me and told me I was going to get the spanking I earned from the night before. The first thought in my mind was "I just took a hot shower" but I have learned not to argue or try

I haven't updated in months and for that I sincerely apologize but I guess there is just so much going on in my life right now and with TTWD being up and down it's hard for me to sit down at my computer and blog here :(  When I am feeling like things aren't going well in my relationship with TX as far as DD goes then I usually try to stay away from everything that has to do with DD. Right now I have a lot of things going on between my job , my doll business and personal family issues that I am under a tremendous amount of stress and at it's really starting to get to me! Usually when I am stressing out I just put it out of my mind and try not to think about the "stress" and that works for a time but then I get to a point where I just blow up at TX which is not good at all. We have tried stress relief spankings and those work for a time but it seems over time they don't work well at all and it's like I want negative attention from him therefore I will &q